To S----, with my best regards

I hate the fact that you have a girlfriend. I hate it so much because it should still be me, and yet I know that we don't belong together. I hate that we don't talk anymore, but I know that if I pick up the phone to call you I'll be putting myself in a situation that I just shouldn't. I want to know who she is and I hope that she means nothing to you. I hope that your relationship falls apart and that you can't stand each other. But I want you to be happy, so why does it bother me so much that you've met someone else? 

It should be me. 

You mean everything and nothing to me. I hate that I love you. 

Why can't you just call me? I know that I told you that I needed space. I know that I told you that I couldn't talk to you until I was ready, but that didn't mean that you should stop trying. I'm a girl. We're crazy, remember? 

I wonder all the time if you ever think about me as much as I think about you. I wonder all the time if you look at my pictures (I know you have a file of them on your computer). I wonder if you ever listen to those songs and remember what it was like to have me in your arms. I wonder why it's her and not me. I wonder if you ever wonder the same thing. 

I miss you.