Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Tomber amoreux a Paris

How do you justify feeling so strongly about a person you've only just met and barely know? Everything I'm feeling is just mixing inside of my like a chemical explosion waiting to happen. It's so hard to act like I don't care (and I know for a fact I'm doing an awful job even pretending). I wear my emotions on my face like an open book. If I'm feeling it, the whole world knows. And now I'm sitting alone in Paris trying not to cry because I'm way to involved in a relationship that's going no where with someone that doesn't even like me! Yes, I brought this on myself and I let it happen, but now that I want it to stop I just can't think of what to do. Oh great, the object of my obsession is sitting in front of me. Shoot me now. -.-

Saturday, May 19, 2012

An Angel Taken Home

I've spent all day trying to forget about what happened, but when I'm home and I've finally stopped distracting myself with work and reading and all the other mindless activities of the day, I think about you and my heart breaks. You were so young, so alive, that I can't fathom that you might be gone. I can still hear the sound of your laugh, the enigmatic way you jokingly talked about the importance of geography in our French class. A few weeks ago, I said that it was a stupid reason to take a class just because you were going to be in it. Now, I'd give anything just to be in that class with you again. To see your smile.To hear your laugh. To watch you walk in the door with your bundle of books, each a different language. When I think about what you were going to do with your life, the kind of plans you had for yourself, I can barely stop the tears. This world needs more people like you in it. You were truly one of a kind. I wish I had taken the time to know you better. I will regret it for the rest of my life. Even though I only knew you briefly, you have changed my life forever. Dear friend, I love you so completely and my heart will always be with you.

All my love,
Lilah <3

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Worried mother duck

I can't get in touch with my best friend and I'm freaking out! I know that I sometimes have motherly tendencies but I'm really worried at this point.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Hi Lo Street

So far, the high point of this week was when my best friend Beille and I broke out into "in the dark of the night" from Anastasia at the same time while walking home in the dark from the movie theater. Best friend bonus points for that one.

Low point of this week was when I made it through the entire day and then finally started sobbing the moment I closed my bedroom door because of the momentous scholarship rejection letters coupled with my roommate receiving a full ride study abroad scholarship added to an already stress-heavy class load. On the bright side, it was like a scene right out of a movie, and I should at least get something from karma out of all that drama, right?

Life: 2
Me: .5 (I don't care who you are, that best friend moment was epic)

At least the stairs haven't started changing on me yet. I'm actually winning against them and their desire to attack me on a daily basis.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Hurricane My Life

I don't understand how classes have only just started and I'm already trying to grab hold to something sturdy just to keep from being blown over by the turmoil that is going on in my life right now. It's like everything just came on all at once and I'm just holding on hoping to make it through the next couple weeks. This semester is going to be really rough. As of right now, my schedule/hating life for tomorrow

06:45am Wake up
07:15am Gym
9:30 - 11am Classes
11:15-1:45pm Work
2-3:15pm Classes
5:00pm-8pm Work
8pm-12am Homework
Sleep?

Oh, also, to everyone out there who has a discrepancy against someone for whatever reason:
Never talk shit about someone to their best friend and expect them to just sit there and agree with you in all your rightness. You'll be lucky if you don't get slapped in the face for something like that or trampled on by her horde of gays for that matter. Respect. It's real.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Bad days made better

I was having a really stressful week complete with new classes that are overwhelming, a frantic need for money, and a desperate search for a higher paying job when this little gem popped up in my news feed:


Sometimes, I really love my friends.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Last Year

I'm remembering you and this night last year and the excitement of being next to you. I'm remembering my heart pounding and the smile on my face as we celebrated the start of a new year together. I'm remembering it all like it happened yesterday and I'm missing you tonight.

Happy New Year, S----.